Thursday, September 9, 2010

Free and Clear

So, the dramatic body scan is over.

My appointment was last Friday at 11am. I sat thru the scan in a much more 'ghetto' setting than my scans in Wichita. They literally used a chair as a footrest.

When the scan ended, I was left alone in the room. I had been watching a scan on the monitor, and when I stood up, I was checking it out. It showed the three major areas - throat, lungs, colon - that they seem to check each time. Only the neck showed a much larger white spot that had spread out from the scan I had last Spring.

My heart sank. I was having pretend conversations with my doctor about what we can do once I get all the radiation I can get. What are we going to do? Who's going to raise my kids? It was tragic.

A few moments later, the tech walked in behind me and said, "That's not your scan. That's the guy before you." She then starts typing on the computer and pulls up my scan - which is completely black, meaning completely and utterly free of any detectable cancer.

And I feel like I've come out from under a dark cloud. Blissfully able to plan a future with my family. To have dreams. And goals. And maybe even someday, more kids. Or not. But I've got time.

On the more realistic side, I need to have another clean scan in 6 months before I'm really out of the clear. But this is definitely a start. And it makes me happy I opted for the aggressive second treatment a week or so before we moved to Dallas. I feel like I made good choices. And I had fabulous medical care. I am so grateful to my OB who spotted the tumor, my fabulous surgeon who did such a clean cut for my basically invisible scar and who left so little tissue behind, as well as my oncologist who gave me my doses, and my endocrinologist who sent me back to the oncologist when my first radiation didn't completely "ablate" my cancer. And my husband who watched my boys, friends who came over to help him, and listened to me all along. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

p.s. The boys are GREAT. Adorable. In to everything. Still not talking, but maybe getting close. We catch an 'up' or an 'uh oh' in between all the 'daddy's Love those guys.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

IF Snob

So, I have a total body scan tomorrow. And I'm such a sh*tty patient. Such a snob. An IF snob. A whiney, complaining baby. And why do I say this? Because I think it is RIDICULOUS that I have to trek across town everyday for pre-scan shots in the rump. Um, hello?! If I can shoot myself up with progesterone in the rear for months, months I tell you, then I can certainly handle two days of thyrogen. Progesterone in O.I.L. and this stuff is thin with a short little needle that I barely feel when the elderly nurse makes me bend over - yes! bend over, are you kidding me?!. I admit it, Yes, you have to mix it. But I have mixed my meds before. So, I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to injections, you know?!

Also, loving the Proverbs on some random Bible blog I've been getting in my Google reader lately. Here's yesterday...Proverbs 16:9 - "In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps."

Think on that.